Travis Hafner Declines Roster Spot; Names His Replacement

Cleveland Indians power hitting First Baseman, Travis Hafner, has unexpectedly declined the fall roster spot offered to him last week by the U-16 Belle Tire Wizards Hockey Team.

Hafner, a lifetime .294 hitter with 127 career home runs in six Major League Seasons has decided to stay with the Indians baseball team through October as the Tribe prepares for the pennant race.

A teary-eyed Hafner, flanked by his wife and agent at his side, made his decision public at a news conference Tuesday Evening, and offered up his namesake, Rusty Hafner, as his replacement.

Said Hafner, "This was a very difficult decision for me to make. I took a few days to think it over with my family but decided that my $9.5 million dollar salary and the opportunity to play in the postseason with the Indians this fall was just too much for me to give up. Besides, this Rusty Kid is a big strong defenseman, and unlike me, he actually plays hockey and will be a much better fit on the Belle Tire Wizards blueline."

Said namesake Rusty when reached by phone while lifting weights at his Suburban Toledo residence, "I will do my best to represent the Hafner name with great honor and dignity. This is a tremendous opportunity, I am very thankful to Travis for giving it to me and I will not let him down."

Detroit Tigers Fans were obviously disappointed with Travis Hafner's decision. Said one Tigers fan who spoke on the condition of anonymity, "We were all very excited to see Travis leave the Indians to pursue hockey. This reversal of fortunes is a major blow to the Tigers chances of making the playoffs and repeating as American League Champions this season. This Rusty kid will not be received kindly by Tigers Fans when he crosses state lines."

When asked if he was worried about retribution from angry Tigers Fans, Rusty responded, "No they are all just a bunch of wimps, I can take them. This type of thing comes with the territory, being from Ohio I am used to being harassed all the time, and it has made me mentally tougher".